Meaningful revelations

When they come along, you cannot ignore them. The cliché phrase, “follow your heart,” has become a mandatory lifestyle as of late. Meaningful revelations have taken over my life, and for that, I am forever thankful. 

On Wednesday afternoon, I was sitting in the kitchen eating a fried egg sandwich and drinking black coffee when the thought of my post-undergraduate life began to trouble me. Not to be that person, but feelings of discontent and personal disappointment overtook me. I am not afraid to admit that I felt slightly hopeless. I had done so many cool things before graduate school became my life. I thought, “why didn’t I just stick with STL TV, or start my own online publication”? I could have had my own show by now, or I could be making big bank off advertisers and partnerships. My perceived awesomeness seemed irrelevant and nostalgic as I began to look ahead to the bullshit that I now face.

In May, the pressure is on. I will have to figure out how to shop, not just for new clothes appropriate for late twenty somethings, but also opportunities. You know, all of those big girl jobs, with all of those fine companies and organizations that have their own cultures. It then hit me: I have to attempt to sell myself to prove to someone that I am capable and that I have the right to assimilate into an established work culture. But, why?

I became slightly enraged as the frustration of always having to affiliate with an organization had barred my creativity and sense of personal possibility. Looking back, I realized that all of those independent projects, internships, and writing had made me. In a sense, every creative pursuit up until May would have prepared me for launching my own career path, my way. 

I am sick of the politics that flood the modern-day job market. The applications have become more and more tedious. Everyone is either over or under-qualified. Honestly, “the perfect fit” that many employers claim to seek seems unrealistic. To be a starving creative in a marketplace where your skills must be fine-tuned and your values are determined by your employer is incredibly challenging. 

So why not embrace a culture, your own? I have decided to stop taking my skills for granted. Instead of looking for a position in an organization that deems me a good fit, I plan to create one and others can then buy in. Stay tuned.